Friday, September 20, 2013

On This Edition of WTH? Toilet Talker and the Confused Client

Humans are very strange and gross creatures. Why? You ask. I'll tell you why! 

Today I was using the ladies room and woman in the stall next to me was chatting on the phone while doing her business, if ya'll catch my meaning. Do I want to hear your conversation? Does the person on the other line want to hear you urinate? No. More importantly, can we all say ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!? Seriously. You've made the situation very awkward and uncomfortable, Toilet Talker. I can't even look you in the eye. I'm not an unreasonable person, though. I do understand that there are justifiable reasons for talking on the toilet. Life or death reasons. Being on hold and unable to hang up or you'll lose your place in the cue reasons. Stuff like that. Honestly I don't know why people feel the need to socialize in the stalls. I'm weird. 

Personal question. When you're calling a veterinary hospital, what are your expectations? Because a client asked me if we see cats and dogs there. Really? Really? No. Sorry, sir. We only see thestrals, hippogriffs and the occasional unicorn (I know some of you are grinning right now), but never cats and dogs. We don't see creatures that exist outside of your imagination. We're not that kind of veterinary hospital.  Random side note: Chickens are considered exotic animals. "Dude! I got to see an exotic chicken today!" Said no one ever. 

Lessons learned:

1. Think twice before asking someone to borrow their phone.
2. Use common sense. It's highly likely that your local veterinarian sees cats and dogs. Take a risk and just schedule the appointment! 

Surprisingly that's all I got for now. Leave me comments, dirty jokes, poetry, stuff, anything! 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Resistance is Futile

I firmly believe that you can learn anywhere, anytime, doing anything; life's lessons just sort of creep up on you. Like ninjas.

The location: My house
The time: Completely irrelevant (a.k.a I can't remember)
The activity: Cleaning my fish tank

The toughest part of cleaning the tank is getting the little fellow out of it. He's very good at evading the net. The chase is long. He darts behind his little plastic shark, and he waits. We both do. Who's going to break first? Until I carefully knock his little sharky friend over and begin the chase anew. I talk to him the entire time. "Come on little fishy. This is a good thing," I tell him gently. "You don't want to swim around in this ick filled water forever, do you?" Because it's seriously gross. There's stuff floating on the top. So there I am, baby-talking my fish and trying to convince him to get in the stinkin' net when this thought hits me. I'm just like him. I can totally relate to my fish.

You're probably all like, "WTH?" at this point. Wait for it. Waiiit  for it. It'll make sense. Eventually. Hopefully. So, anyways, my little guy has no clue that I'm chasing him around his tank for a good cause, does he? He doesn't understand that the black net will take him to fresh water. His little fishy memory can't remember all the previous experiences. The net's always a scary thing that chases him around his home. He's happy right where he is, because it's what he knows. It's what he's used to. It's comfortable. To me, in that moment, the net represented change.

Change happens. You can't escape it. You can't always control it. You don't know where it leads. It's flippin' scary sometimes. I see it looming on the horizon and I hold my breath. Why can't I just stay here with the way things are? It's not the best situation, but I'm comfortable in it because I'm used to it.

Thankfully I don't have a three second memory like my little fishy. I eventually remember that in the end change usually ends up leading to something better. Something better than the filthy water I was swimming around in before. It's not always obvious and it doesn't happen instantly, but it does. For instance, I have to get my fish out of his dirty tank to clean it, right? I can't clean it as well as I need to with him still in it. In the meantime he just floats around in a little cup and waits. I think we find ourselves in our own little cup sometimes, just floating around and wondering what the point is. Why was I taken out of a bigger, better place, and put into this? I don't know. God does, though. Can I tell you how relieved I am about that? Someone better, stronger, wiser has more control over my situation than I do! It might not be the most ideal situation. It might not be the perfect job, or the dream house with the perfect family, the perfect friends or the perfect grades. I might not be where I want to be, but it's temporary.

Finally the tank is clean. I always feel really excited at this point. The walls and his shark-friend are slime free, the water's fresh. He's never as excited as I am, though. I pick up his cup and gently pour him into his now sparkly-home and he tries to swim back in to the little cup. The goofy fish tries to stay in there as long as he can. If only my fish could understand that the quicker he gets into the net, the quicker the whole process would be! Easier, too. He's a fish, though, with his three second memory. He has an excuse for being so silly. Me? I have no such excuse. I still go through the silly cycle of trying to avoid what I perceive to be bad changes (the net, in case my analogy is still as clear as mud) instead of just accepting that I don't need to understand them right this moment. I have to remind myself that the changes will inevitably be good for me. They always are. I just have to swim into the net and trust. He is faithful. He has plans for me that are far greater than my own. 

I could go on and on, but then it'd get even more confusing and strange and tangent-y, so I'll stop here. I don't know what challenges you're facing in life at this moment, but I hope my post made even the tiniest difference. At the very least I hope it reminded you to clean your fish tank! 

In my very first blog entry, I told you that I often refer to song lyrics, so I will leave you with the lyrics from one of my very favoritest songs ever. 

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

- Beautiful Things,  Gungor 

Thanks for reading! As always questions and comments are welcome :) 

Friday, August 23, 2013

Variety is the Spice of Life

If you don't agree, then turn away! This is not the blog for you. 
Still not sure? Let me see if I can help ya decide. 

What NOT to expect:

  • Continuity
  • Logic
  • Political anything
  • Depth
  • That this blog will look the same every time you visit it
  • Perfection

What you WILL see:
  • Randomness
  • Book stuff
  • Fluffy things
  • A bit of ranting here and there
  • Made up words
  • My current obsessions 
  • Posts of varying lengths
  • Disney references
  • Song references (I think in song)
  • Guest bloggers (hopefully!)
  • Sarcasm
  • God talk
See? Variety. I find that life without it tends to be very, very bland. Also, I am incredibly indecisive and hate to limit myself. 

Leave comments and/or questions below. Just know that I won't answer rude comments or what I perceive to be personal questions.